Divorce Divorce Divorce!!!?

Rosalia Hibler: Most likely yes, but you never specified if the condom looks weird, if it's used there should be traces of dried up dead sperm, or something out of ordinary, what another poster suggested her girlfriends using it As a joke, maybe is she has friends who are teenagers, or just reaching 18.

Jude Kennelly: There isn't other good reasons I believe. I think the person you end up marrying is the person you should spend the rest of your life with because you went through all the tests of a relationship that requires a lot of work. I think today people marry too quickly before knowing enough about each other, or marries because they don't want to end up alone. That's just my take on it.

Nona Lentini: That he wants to look at porn is not the problem as much as WHY he wants to. What aren't you giving him that he gets from porn? Speaking as a guy, I consider looking at porn kind of a division of my primary loyalty, but it's far short of adultery. For you t! o insist that it is sounds repressive, and might be one of the factors driving him to it. Since you've watched together, that's a hopeful sign. Keep on with it, and monitor his activity so you know whether he's going some sick way with it. I think porn is probably a safety valve that could have the effect of blunting his desire to stray in real-life, but my own wife hoots that theory down every time I mention it. Tone that jealousy down around him, too .. the more you squeeze the harder he'll try to get away....Show more

Deangelo Marchak: Can'tThe world is big and people believe they should live life to the fullest by having as much fun as possible. Meaning basically that divorce is a cop-out for someone who is just tired of seeing the same person everday. You know "I don't like your smell so i'm getting a divorce." Then they turn around and get married again.

Luis Mellon: What you're asking for is for him to lie to you and keep secrets from you.... is that w! hat you want? Last I checked... paper and videos can't set up ! houskeeping with a person so just how is him looking at porn so wrong? I would think that as a woman you would want to be with a man who is attracted to women. Get over the fact that you aren't the only woman on the earth that he might want to look at. He did marry YOU after all! Good Lord girl....grow up!...Show more

Georgianna Zollo: I don't think porn is normal, but it's certainly not un-normal. There are plenty of men and women who enjoy it, and he is just one of many. I also don't think it's adultery. Adultery takes two people who are in some form of a relationship when one of them is married to another. The people in porn are just putting on a show for the masses, they don't know or care about your husband (or any one else who watches it.)What you need to do is find a happy compromise with him.If you forbid him from looking at it at all, he may decide that he is going to hide it from you. Then he has broken your trust, disrespected your wishes, and you will be t! wice as mad that he looked at it.If you let him do whatever he wants with porn, then all you will do is set yourself up for even more hurt and jealousy because you won't have a say in what he does.Have a long talk with him about why he wants to watch porn so that you will understand what role it plays in his mind. Then decide what limits you want to place on his viewing pleasure. Like he can only watch it when you are in the room, or he can only watch it by himself once a month or something. It needs to be reasonable, and something that you both can agree on. If one of you is letting the other have his/her way, then it can and will lead to resentment later on in your marriage.You might also want to consider counseling to work through your jealousy. With or without him, you sound like you may need to build up your self esteem....Show more

Palmira Lochridge: I would wait until she is home. This type of thing requires you to speak to her in person so you can judge her re! action when you bring it up.

Bernie Cerra: Wait to bring it up fa! ce to face that way you can catch her reaction.

Cherry Stampka: GEEZ you lot! Buncha untrusting know-it-alls! You have this woman guilty and punished and she doesn't even know anythings up! I got plenty of explanations. Maybe she cleans her car as much as I do and the thing's been in there since she bought it? She's been out with the girls and someone blew up a condom as a joke etc etc? Wait till she gets home, stop stressing so much about it if you have a had a good marriage for this long, no reason to think that's changed....Show more

Donte Schoenhals: Are you asking for trouble? Is that your question?If the guy is spending all of his waking hours watching porn, then we are talking about addictions, and that is different than once or twice a week, spending 10 minutes. Guys like to look at naked women -- just no doubt. But in the addiction situation, he just won't be available.... he is already in a relationship, and his wife or sweetie just isn't part of! that relationship. Answer your question?...Show more

Rodrigo Pezley: face to face and ask her to explain the wrappers I think you already know the right answer no matter what she may say

Ramon Dahlheimer: just because you loved someone at some point, you should live the rest of your life with them. It is a search of happiness.

Ramona Pago: I agree, wait till she gets home to confront her. That way you can see her reaction and she hasn't time to come up with an excuse for why there are condom wrappers in her car.

Carter Edstrom: Wait until you are face to face so you can see her reaction when you bring it up. Personally it doesn't sound good.

Hunter Osterberger: When the paper work shows up for him to sign for it... Is when him MITE understand whats going on.You've tried. It does not always work. Move that much more to a permanent separationAt some point he will get the message.. Sh___it or get off the pot / let you go. There not enough time ! in life to play his game....Show more

Travis Colomb: I would wai! t till i see her a$$ face to face that way yuou can quickly tell if shes lying

Maynard Reevers: There are many reasons to get a divorce. You are too simplistic here and you know it. If one person is miserable in the marriage, then it's time to consider divorce. Why spend the next 20 years being unhappy.

Idell Mulliniks: Well, as a child of divorce, I've certainly seen my fair share of how awful divorce can be, while not at all being culpable for it. And I wouldn't recommend divorce lightly, but I've recommended divorce or breaking up here before. The reason is that there are some problems that are really intractable--that are based on a fundamental difference, or dysfunction, or faulty premise, or something that will never change. In such a case, I've said divorce/break up because the person is only hanging on because they think things will become different.It's also easier to recommend divorce, because it takes a lot less time to type; amicable solutions are co! mplex and difficult to sum up here. you've never met the people, so don't know what they've got invested in the relationship. If you know a couple, it becomes more difficult. Plus, if you ever say anything negative about the significant other of a friend of yours after they've split up, it's inevitable that they'll get back together and then never speak to you again....Show more

Melissa Lavallie: I think you should drag it out in order to maximize the suffering for all involved.

Hermina Ketring: Well, there is a bunch of other reasons. Irresponsibility, plain disrespect, or sexual incompatibility just to name a few. I am divorced, and I do love it. I am actually pretty darn happy about it! lol :) One of the best things that have ever happened to me.By the way, I don't believe that adultery is a good reason for the grounds of the divorce/

Zulema Baccam: Not everyone gets married for the right reasons. These impulsive, short-sighted people are the first on! es to throw in the towel on a marriage when problems arise. People are! quick to get divorced because they never really understood the commitment that is marriage and they never should have been married in the first place.Divorce is right when the reasons for marriage were wrong!!!...Show more

Bennie Lantgen: I agree with you 100%... At one point in our marriage my husband and I were separated and close to divorce, it was the toughest decision I ever had to face, especially with our son involved. It was the most miserable time in my life, but thank God we got through it and we're now happier than ever, so if there's ever a chance to work things out, it's definitely worth it!

Wilfredo Muldoon: I can only think of one other reason to get divorced other then some form of physical, verbal, emotional abuse or adultery. The only one reason is that two people have tried ever means possible to rebuild a relationship meaning counselling, writing thoughts and feelings out, taking turns to speak with a talking stick, the list of nice things t! o do for the other person every day, complements, reading self help books, most of all self reflection onto ones own actions. SO I mean everything else, and only then is divorce a last option. Divorce is necessary when two people just can not live in the same house as one another because of lack of communication, respect, and trust. For example my husband was married before me. His wife and him did not have the strongest relationship as they met when he was 17. They got married when he was 21. They lived in a very small town that she would not move away from but there was no work their. So he had to travel 2 hours each way a day for work. Then put in his 8 to 10 hours and drive home. This got so bad that he actually fell asleep at the wheel and wrote off the car. She still would not move. He ended up moving to the town where he could find work and travelling back on days off to spend time with her. They had a baby, then he got a really good job offer six hours away and she ! said yes I will follow get a house for us down there and we will come a! nd join you. It was better pay his job with more room for advancement. He rented two different homes and for both of them she never came instead two days before Christmas when he came home for the break she said she was moving from BC to Ont. He did not have a say in this she just was going. So he loved his wife and son and wanted to be with them and packed up the house and moved to Ontario. There were there for four months when they moved back to BC for work. While there were there she got pregnant again. You have to feed a family instead of just living anywhere you want. She came back to BC with him. The three months later she and their son were gone. She jumped on a plane and moved to Ontario while he was at work. He has to this day never been able to see his son again and never met his younger son. The courts allow this as it is too stressful on her to have to talk to him thus it is bad for the children. So do I believe in their divorce YES when one person will not work! on the relationship and think of the greater good of the family’s needs then divorce is necessary! She would not even see a mediator to try and work out something for the sake of the children....Show more

Erica Bottaro: NetDog Porn Filter : http://www.netdogsoft.com

Jonathon Labonne: no1advice(?) - I acknowledged asking this in the middle of the night. Is there a problem with asking again when more Top Contributers such as yourself are awake? I swear I won't ask again.

Luke Gacusan: I'm with you him doing this is both disrespectful to you and your relationship. Porn is the route cause of alot of the crap this wrold is going through especially with divorce and adultery. He has made a vow to you and to honor love and cherish you all the days of his life him lusting to ladies in a porn is just wrong. Tell him this behavior of him watching porn is hurting your feelings and if he has any compassion for you and your feelings he will stop if not then the o! nly option is for us to split hopefully this will make this guy wake-up! unless he is a selfish prick that has never cared about anything you have had to say. If he loves you he will be open to giving it up I will personally tell you I had a problem with porn when I was single but needless to say I gave it up when I met my wife because the only thoughts of that nature I want in my head are that of my wife and the times we spend together like it should be why cloud your thoughts with crap....Show more

Loriann Carrigan: Adultery is not limited to sex with another person. It can be a relationship with gambling, alcohol, drugs, the computer and a host of other things.

Melvin Nakama: I agree with you except I think that adultry can also be overcome in a marriage if couples want to work on their marriage. Phycial and mental abuse!!! Divorce...it is not worth your LIFe or YOUR SANITY

Ulysses Failey: Come on. Divorce? Over looking at porn? Do you view it alone - never once? I can see getting annoyed when all he does is look at po! rn but to think, even for a second, that he hasn't and will not, view it alone is completely nuts.Ask yourself why it bothers you? Are you insecure? Do you feel like you have to compete with these women on film? You wouldn't be the first. To consider it adultery is crazy. Do you ever check out a guy while out and about? Is that considered adultery to you too? You fantasizing about sex - is that adultery? Because if it is, you've committed it as well. Should he divorce you? We're all human and we're sexual beings. Unless his viewing is 23 hours a day, even while you're with him - the guy is a guy. Why would you want to make him start hiding things?There's so many other things to think about and get angry at - focus all this energy elsewhere....Show more

Cassidy Pangrazio: Weater it hurts some ones feeling or not its disrespectful and degrading to women and it is why most women want plastic surgery to make them self apealing for men.because thats what a man! desires in a women and we women just want to be desired and admired . ! Letting or finding out your man watchs porn just makes a women feel less desired (like ****) because there must be something wong with her because she doesn,t look like a bj craving slut

Nilda Bafia: Husband does me wrong-got drunk and said /did mean things. Too much to get into-bothing physical though. Not the first time. I told him to either quit drinking and shape up or get out. He said nothing. He is acting like nothing ever happened and tries to make small talk. I just went about my stuff and basically ignored it. This has been going on for days. I finally said to him that I said all I had to say about matter and when he is ready to talk let me know.He acts like nothing ever happened and won't own up to any of it. What is the best step for me at this point?...Show more

Karl Jantzen: well ALLOW is always a strong word to use in a marriage you are both ADULTS i stooped being told i was ALLOWED to do things when i was 17 and moved away from my parents. I ! would never tell my man he was not ALLOWED to watch what ever he wanted. The only thing my husband would be told is not allowed is actually sleeping with another women. btw it is a normal thing

Garry Ohmen: No...i don't think it means you are asking for trouble! He should respect your wishes! I hate porn and won't even let my hubby watch that soft porn on HBO! I don't want to look at other men; and i guess i feel like he shouldn't want to look at other women!

Collin Barter: I asked this in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep, so excuse the repost -- I was washing my wife's car this weekend and a condom wrapper got stuck in the vacuum while cleaning under the seat. There were three others. We've been married ten years, no kids, and never had any serious problems. She's on a business trip until this Sunday, but we talk at least twice a day. I want to say something, but it doesn't feel right on the phone. At the same time, I don't know if I can wait till ! she gets back for a face to face talk. I know it doesn't look good, but! this is really out of character for her. It's been suggested someone may have borrowed her car, but that's not likely. There's no question we'll talk about this, but should I bring it up now...or wait?...Show more

Lino Cawthorne: i have to say it has never been an issue because i think he knew up front that i was a very jealous person and that i will not tolerate him watching porn..... we have watched together, but if i found that he was doing it without me i would probably divorce him.... am i asking for trouble??? people seem to think it is such a "normal" thing.... to me it is freakin audultery!!!!!!!!!

Adan Alipio: Wife is on a "Business trip" huh? Thought it was only guys who used that excuse. You being played good sir. Wait for face to face and present her with your evidence.

Krystal Cordovano: wait until she gets home, for sure. Present her with the condom wrappers in a ziplock bag. tell her they were in her car. don't say anything else; and ! see what she comes up withbest of luck

Garry Ohmen: I don't understand how you see it as adultery when he is by him self watching a flick or looking at a magazine and not when you are doing it together. Yes I think your asking for BIG trouble by having this double standard. Its good to be jealous to a certain point but there in a fine line between being a loving wife who gets jealous at times and being unreasonable. If you would seriously consider divorce over this then there is some deep issues you need to work out. I have been married to my husband for a very very long time now and I think our sex life would be in the toilet if I didn't allow him to have his personal time to himself with his movies and magazines. It allows him to get creative and bring new and exciting ideas to bed. Besides think about it why does he get to that state of mind, probably because he was having a fantasy about you and as most men do he needs a visual aid. Plus who does he climb into bed! with every night you and not the porn star. Lighten up a little you ca! n really benefit from it....Show more

Ira Porietis: Welcome to the real Girl's Club! Men have known about it for years. I would agree with you except usually it IS women who wish to make some kind of final statement after such things. As if divorce is a victory rather than a personal failure. And in some cases they deserve to have their day. But in most cases most guys usually just want out, they want to forget, and still have the ability to move on with their life unencumbered. I guess women feel a sense of accomplishment, and therefore a need to celebrate their victory. Childish I think. And their lack of maturity only enhances the lawyers pockets! But why would they care? It's usually not them who pays the lawyer!!...Show more